Tamar Shamrot Lipz became a mother on Stanford’s MBA program
Stanford prides itself on the diversity of its MBA class. However, when I started in the fall of 2020, to join Stanford’s largest ever MBA class of 436, one demographic category was completely missing: mothers. No one. I became the first, I gave birth in the last week of my first year. And I almost didn’t apply for business school.
Many factors may explain the lack of mothers in MBA programs. Many women decide to postpone motherhood until their careers are on the right track, others are still looking for life partners, and for many the financial burden of both motherhood and MBA is too heavy. But the biggest factor may be that many do not know that they can combine MBA and motherhood, and recognize that entering a class where no one else “looks” like you or can sympathize with you is intimidating and isolating.
After one abortion and with a focus on creating a family that is always present, I realized that my chance for an MBA is behind me, not knowing a single role model. I refused my husband’s suggestion to apply. “You can’t be a mom and finish your MBA,” I protested. My husband does not easily accept “no” and makes calls with several women he could find, who were mothers while they were in business school. With a little encouragement from the discussion, I signed up.
Taking the GMAT a few days after the abortion
Writing the GMAT entrance exam five days after my second abortion, IVF and first trimester coinciding with the first trimester at Stanford and giving birth in the exam week, I can think of one of my loneliest travels. A trip that could have been easier had someone in my class been in a similar situation.
“Punishment for motherhood” is not new. Much has been written about how mothers are paid less than their non-pregnant colleagues, or how visibly pregnant women are seen as less dedicated to their work than non-pregnant colleagues. (The MBA consulting company I used told me not to mention abortions in business school essays, she advised that schools can question my commitment to studying if they know I’m trying to start a family.)
The punishment that may not be so obvious is the lack of mothers who apply for (and be admitted to) business schools. Kirsten Moss, Stanford’s assistant dean for MBA, notes that mothers make up “a small fraction of the 7,000+ applications” she receives each year. This translates to the class profile. In Stanford’s initial class in 2022, no mother was present, while eight fathers made the incision. Class 2023 is no different: zero mothers and 11 fathers.
As an MBA mom, I had a completely different experience than my classmates
This scarcity is not unique to Stanford. At Harvard Business School, mothers make up 1 percent of the student community, with a father-to-mother ratio of five to one. The lack of mothers was described in detail by MBA moms from Wharton, Kellogg and Darden, to name a few.
As a mother in business school, I had a completely different experience than my classmates. My internship was a birth. This meant that recruiting for a job after business school was more challenging, with no offer coming from the summer. While the classmates were out most of the night “networking”, I was at home, spending a few precious hours with my family and doing some work between meals. I became a de facto expert on motherhood in the classroom, asking questions about fertility, pregnancy, maternity accommodation and lactation rooms.
The school and the teachers gave me great support and understanding when I had to bring my son to class or miss class to attend a sick baby. The classmates were wonderful, they prepared a baby for me and offered free babysitting.
As an MBA mom, the academic experience was difficult and lonely
All in all, the experience was difficult and lonely. MIT and Harvard moms have told me that their challenges are similar: a lack of clarity about birth resources and policies when applying to school, overly expensive childcare if you can even get off the waiting list (my babysitting bill is $ 2,500 a month - Stanford gives students a 5% discount), and often a sense of isolation.
Skeptics may argue that mothers have a greater tendency to leave the workforce, so they should not be given a place in a top business school. It is true that the rate of participation of mothers in the labor force is significantly lower than that of fathers. However, perhaps only education keeps mothers in the workforce. A study by Harvard professor Claudia Goldin on labor force participation during the Covid pandemic showed that “the biggest differences in the pandemic effects on employment are between educational groups, not between the sexes within educational groups.” Women with a college degree were far less likely to leave the workforce than their colleagues without a degree. Let’s not forget Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who gave birth to her daughter Jane in 1995, just before enrolling in law school, and she only quit her job. Or Kirthiga Reddy, the first Facebook employee in India and the first woman investment partner in SoftBank Investment Advisers, who gave birth to a daughter after the first year of her Stanford MBA program.
What can be done?
Business schools should encourage mothers to apply. Although Stanford’s MBA Admissions Office knows the number of mothers who applied and were admitted to the class, this metric is not disclosed. If this issue were published, just as the school publishes the number of women, international, black Americans, etc., it would highlight the problem and stimulate discussion. Although much effort has been made to increase the number of women applying, mothers were not a specific target group.
What business schools can do to make MBA moms welcome
Expand the resources provided to future MBA moms. This should include guaranteed on-campus childcare, financial assistance to cover childcare costs and basic family needs, more lactation rooms and a more flexible delivery policy.
Finally, motherhood should be positively assessed in admission decisions. Although it is difficult to measure and compare, a certain flexibility when taking away a “job” to give birth and / or raise children should become the standard. What other job requires you to be sleep deprived for months, to run a household while hormones vary drastically and to take care of another person who relies on you in everything, while balancing other life requirements. If motherhood could be seen as what it is - the hardest job in the world - it would come first in discussions about work experience.
Would I repeat everything? Definitely. But I hope that the experience of future MBA moms will be shared and supported.
Tamar Shamrot Lipz, originally from South Africa, is finishing his MBA at Stanford. She has been an investor in companies across Africa and will join the Multi-Family Office. He lives in California with his wife Itai and one-year-old Lior.
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